The Day of Compassion Assignment.....

I have a story to share. I signed up for a free online course last July. I wanted to see how I'd fare. One of my dreams that has yet to come true is to further my studies. University days are foreign to me. It is something that I have secretly wished to have experienced. All that I know, I learnt from life and yet, when I started this particular course, I found out that there is a name or a special term for everything and anything. It is interesting, for I can now relate theory to practice. It helped to increase my understanding and I started scoring full marks for each assignment.

Unfortunately, I wasn't prepared for technology and a whole lot of other stuff. I also didn't know the know how. I became overwhelmed. I choked! My first obstacle was having to own a credit card, as one of the assignments required that I register on a particular network. Since I don't use one, I felt it ridiculous to go and apply for a credit card now. Having to borrow someone else's, to register, felt weird as well as it is a yearly subscription.

Apparently, I wasn't the only one with this problem. Other students had the same issue. So, the committee provided an alternative. You can now do it through Pay Pal. I was half way climbing Mount Kinabalu for a charity event at that time, so I missed the dateline for payment. It wasn't much. Only RM 60 per year. I could have afforded that and I am sure being in that network would have provided me with plenty of resources. My first assignment that went down the drain, was to join that network as well as to create a CV for submission. It doesn't have to be your own but it must be an original. I am sure you must think it " Kacang Putih " but for me it was the scariest thing ever! I freaked out. I didn't know who to turn to. I was lost and not only that, I had a writer's block. I couldn't even use mine as I have never needed to have one. Besides, what is there to write on my CV? I have been with the same company for 17 years. It would have been just a sentence :)

From then on, I became disheartened. I read, I followed the lectures online, whenever and wherever I have the time or the internet connection. Would you believe me if I am to say that I did it mostly from my mobile phone? That is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I was not only a mother at home but also busy flying on most days and at the same time cracking my head for my blogs during that particular period so much so, that I was losing sleep and one day, when I was at home, listening to the lectures on my PC, thanks to my uncle's broadband, my son came up to me and said this, " Mummy, lets play. " and I replied, " Sorry baby. Later okay. I need to submit my assignment by today. Tomorrow I am flying off again. This is important. " To which he replied " Mummy..I am IMPORTANT. Your work is not! " How sad and so true. His pleas stabbed me straight across the heart. I have said no too many times. I am afraid that someday when I am old and lonely, when I need some company, those exact words will come back to haunt me, so..that's how I missed my second assignment. I now know that I suck at this time management..BIG TIME. I also know that if one day, when I do accomplish and complete this dream of mine, that the success will be so much sweeter than honey. I wanted to do everything and at the end of the day I failed. I am good at being the Jack of all traits, master of none.

Sylvia Plath said it best :-

"I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and everyone of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet." ~ The Bell Jar 


Then, came the Day Of Compassion Assignment. This was the last and the one that I am most excited about. The winner and his or her family will be flown across the world to a prestigious University to meet, upclose and personal with the Dalai Lama. At first I was so hopeful ( There is plenty to write about, I thought )..and then felt discouraged, I told my family a few days later.." Like as if they would pick ME out of a hundred thousand online students." " Why not? " My uncle asked me. I merely shrugged my shoulders. I never did submit that assignment. It was so ironic. The dateline was the night that I was walking the streets feeding the homeless for the Serve Something Nice Campaign. I felt crushed. There goes another one of my dreams. " The Dalai Lama will have to wait. I am needed somewhere else at the moment. " I jokingly told my mom.

Today, while I am here in Istanbul, even though I have skipped a few assignments, I am still eligible to vote for the winner that will be able to meet him. It is bittersweet. As I read the top 5 student's work, deep down I know that I could have nailed this. Perhaps it is not my time yet. My family and I have been living compassionately for as long and as far as I can remember. My friends and the people I mix and interact with, all this while, have also been doing so. If strangers can show compassion towards each other on a daily basis, of course it is possible to do the same act of kindness towards our loved ones. The world will definitely be a better place to live in. Getting the chance to study free online is an act of compassion. For someone who is thirsty for knowledge but does not have the means or the time to indulge, THIS is Godsend. Even animals can teach us a thing or two on compassion. It has been an exciting 8 weeks of lectures and readings for me. They would never have seen some of my work or be able to evaluate it now, but it doesn't matter anymore. I am fully aware of my shortcomings and will rectify the necessary.

Being compassionate doesn't require you to have money or much anything else. It doesn't even have to be a grand gesture. Sometimes, it is the little things in life that means the most to us. A little bit of love goes a long way. You might never get anything in return, ever..but that is not the point. Start now. Start soon. Lead the path. Someday, somehow, your shoes will be filled by others. Dead or alive, you shall not be alone anymore for in each and everyone of them, you shall continue living.

Whatever that I have given out freely, has returned to me tenfold in one way or another. This is the greatness of Compassion. Don't just observe it for a day or an assignment. Practice it, your whole life through. By doing, you will automatically enrich not only your life but of others, who will engage and learn from you.You will also be able to contribute positively towards the lives of the people who will be receiving your priceless gift. An act of compassion is free and the good deed can never be measured and is beyond comparison. The reward is a lifetime of love, trust and fulfillment :)

" The whole idea of compassion
is based on a keen awareness
of the interdependence of all these living beings,
which are all part of one another,
and all involved in one another. "
– Thomas Merton

In compassion lies true strength. The blooming of an individual might be seen or heard by others but not always, unless and until you are there to share it with them. However, it can be short lived. Take heart, for all good deeds can never be erased. It lives through others. It flows through you. People might forget who did what and for whom, but their lives would have been changed for the better because of you. Unknowingly to them and unbeknownst to you, a mere second, a full 24 hours or a lifetime could have been affected by your random act of compassion. Therefore, to appreciate it to the fullest, one has to feel and experience it for themselves, from within. The rest, we shall leave it to the universe to do what it does best. Have a heart. Be loving. Evolve. You are capable of so much more :)