I have been happily dating for the last 3 years since my divorce, 4 years back. It took me a while to understand the dating game, as my husband was the only guy that I had dated previously on a serious level, over a very long period of time, before we got married. Dating's fun but it can be pretty exhausting. "I fall in and out love easily." That's what I tell people nowadays. I used to be a one man woman, but not anymore. I have yet to be in a relationship. Perhaps the main reason is because, I have yet to find a man who is genuinely in love with me and till then, I don't plan to put all my eggs into one basket. Don't get me wrong. It's a survival instinct. Honestly, I would really love to fall deeper than I have ever been before and I know that I am ready. The problem is, I am just not THE one for them. Besides, I have been a wife before and a mother now so it comes with a twist, for them..as well as..for me.
Not many men are able to offer me what I want or provide me with what I need. I don't blame them. They don't have the experience neither the know how. To be fair to them, my situation and the way I am now, overwhelms some. Therefore, I am horribly selective of whom I choose to be vulnerable with. Having said that, I have also had my fair share of being taken for granted and being made a fool. I went gaga over a man who was my total opposite once. A good lesson learnt. All I can say is, thanks to the huge amount of positive energy that I have naturally embraced on my own and the people that I surround myself with, I am lucky to not have been further subjected to a series of unwarranted self blaming or jerk addiction. It helps when you give more and expect less. The only thing that I won't compromise on, is respect :)
A dear friend had a chat with me a couple of nights ago and I was surprised by what he had to reveal. Yes, unfortunately shy guys do lose out on much. It is sad, because it is exactly what we women need - GENTLEMEN. A good man who knows how to treat us right. A man who is able to provide us with what we want. An intelligent guy who will not turn our crazy mode ON at any given moment but instead knows how to calm us down and bring out the best in us. My dear sweetheart, please don't blame us. Blame our hormones! As attracted as you are to the next beauty queen (whom by the way might actually be a bimbo in real life), but who cares as long as she has tits that you could dive your face into or an ass that you could slap yourself silly over, it's a done deal right? Well, same goes to us! You are attracted first to what you see, we are at first..attracted to ~ PERSONALITY.
We melt over men who knows what they want in life and is not afraid to be a bad ass to get to where he knows he ought to be. A man who has a life of his own and is a lover not a son. Someone who has the confidence to know that we will not be attracted to anyone else because YOU KNOW that you are good enough. A partner who gives us space and the freedom to be the best that we can be and ultimately someone who is able to make us feel wanted and sexy. There are plenty more other qualities that will turn us on but I am sure that by now, you get my drift. Hence, this is where nice guys fail big time! You are too coy to be suave, you have yet to learn the swag and before you can even give us your best pick up line, someone else has swept us off our feet. Sad but true. History repeats itself. Good men ends up last and the unsuspecting women everywhere, will forever be taken for a ride..( literally to HELL and back ). Isn't it about time we break this cycle?
I am glad that I now know the difference. It'll be great to be loved by a man who has a balance of both worlds. Someone who knows that sometimes, he'll need to be a jerk to win my heart but to keep my love burning for him, I'll want him to continue being nice to me. So there, I am not saying that nice guys are losers but we seriously need you to step up on your game, people! So ladies, till you meet the man of your dreams, never settle for less. You deserve better. Enjoy running a good life till you find each other and to all the NICE men out there ~ Let me be blunt and say this out loud. IT IS ABOUT TIME THAT YOU START BEING CHIVALROUS AND HELP SAVE US FROM OURSELVES ;)
No comments:
Post a Comment