Thursday, January 7, 2016

www.getafriday.com

http://www.getafriday.com/

The above is the link to my website. Yes, I am a business owner too now. I started this last June 2015. I went off to SSM KL Sentral first thing in the morning on the 1st of June to register my company. It was a spur of the moment decision due to my stress level going off track when MH decided to pull the plug on us. I didn't bother to wait for my offer or termination letter that day, as it was too nerve wrecking. I decided to do something useful instead, hence the birth of GetaFriday.

I have been learning new things eversince. It has been pretty daunting. From wanting to vomit blood at times, to feeling a sense of fulfilment for being able to help others earn some extra income as well as get their chores done with minimum fuss. My biggest focus at present is to gain the public's trust. Be it the clients as well as the Fridays. "Friday" is a name that I have given to the folks that help me perform tasks for my clients. The name was inspired by the book Robinson Crusoe. Business have been pretty slow. Not many knows it exists. The ones that do are either sceptical about it or fully supports my dream. Neither do they know that I am the founder. Of course I have had help. I couldn't have started it without my IT friends and fellow dreamers. If they are the brains, our Fridays are the heart of our operations. Without any of them, this idealistic dream of mine could not have come true.

Come true it did. Not fast enough for my liking though. I am not used to rejections of the business sort or the manipulations of the business world. Neither am I ok with the wishy washy attitude of the people/organizations I meet to request for a grant or guidance. I started this off with Zero capital. It has been an uphill battle all the way. Lucky I enjoy climbing mountains! There are days when I feel like giving up and yet when I think of the good that comes from it and the intention behind GetaFriday, it spurs me on.

Currently, most of my Fridays are either ex cabin crew or current ones. We have a few students and some retirees. I would like to see our family grow. It is a means for us to supplement our income as well as spend the extra time we have, to help the community and be of use to society. From baby sitting, pet sitting, walking the dogs, home sitting, being a temp for others, right up to delivery of fragile and expensive items from one country to the next have been succesfully executed by us.

I do realize and am aware of the many choices that are out there, all wanting a portion of the cake. I do welcome the competition and I wish them all well. It can only get better. It keeps me on my toes and forces me to be more resilient. It also pushes me to adapt, change and go on with the times. What matters most to me is to be of help to others and as long as we can accomplish that, half the battle has been won. Rezeki ada di mana mana, yang penting ...kita usaha! :) http://www.getafriday.com/


Thursday, September 24, 2015

The Walk of Friendship with David Wu


It has been more than a year since I last blogged. Today, I felt the need to share with you the story of an ordinary man's journey. One that I have had the pleasure to experience as well as indulge in. 

It all started with a man named David. Surname, Wu. The guy who kick started Projek Wumah. By now, if you are someone that keeps tabs on whose who, Mr Wu-Man is definitely someone not to be missed from your list of people who makes a difference. A true Malaysian at heart.

 A stranger I met by chance through a mutual FB group that has now, not only earned my respect but is like family to me. What made him stand out in my eyes from the start was his giving and caring nature. He helps people without expecting anything in return. I would know, for I was one of them. In fact thanks to him and his brilliant idea of recommending his friends and strangers alike, to order the pineapple jam tarts that I started selling online during the recent fasting month for the folks of Kampung Kubang Gabus, boost my sale tenfold. At that moment in time, I have not even met him! A single act of kindness that made a difference to my existence. Not only did I manage to earn a decent amount of money, I also had a chance to be of use to society and had an opportunity to do some good. It was only much later before we got to say hi face to face. By then, it was like meeting an old friend. Happy to note, that jam tarts and our passion for the less fortunate brought us together. 


Last Sept 9th, David started walking by the streets of Malaysia ( from Merdeka Square, KL heading towards Kampung Kubang Gabus, Kelantan ) with an intent to foster relationships amongst us Malaysians as well as to create an awareness to raise funds for Projek Wumah. You can check out either his own FB page or the Projek Wumah page for the latest information on his whereabouts. Last I heard, he has reached Kelantan and is dreading another uphill climb a few hours ago. I have personally decided to write this blog as an ode to him. 


I wouldn't have been able to join him on the second day of the walk had it not been for his good friend Mujahidin Zulkiffli. With Din's help, I got to hitch a ride to where David was. It was a spur of the moment decision and since I was off, I thought why not? Lets just wu it! Wu it we did. From Batu Caves towards Hulu Yam. Beautiful scenery along the way. Something I would not have been able to experience otherwise. Met some Malaysians along the way and was inspired to say hello. The t-shirt boosted my confidence.
We even gave some of it away in good faith. On that day, Din and I had to leave him a quarter of the way as there was an important meeting to be attended to in KL. I have to admit that I had wished to be able to walk farther with him. Tak puas :)


My chance came once again on the 9th day (17/09/2015). This time around, he was already in Raub getting ready for Malaysia Day. My good friend Vasukee, my son Ryan and I arrived at our hotel around 2300 that night. He came down to the lobby with a limp and a face that has seen many lonely and winding roads all within the last few days, gave me a hug, welcomed us and went up to sleep. We on the other hand went to have supper next door. A lovely tom yam dish, with rice, kai lan, salted fish and fried eggs. Yummeh!


The next morning, we had a hearty breakfast together with our family and friends. Shah, the back up driver joined us halfway through.
It was raining then. So we waited for it to stop. The good thing was, it cleared the haze. Thank God! Lovely start to the day.
We were met by two ladies just as we were about to leave. Pearly and Felicia. It was our first time meeting them. Nice to have had company. David gave us a short and simple briefing right before heading off for our walk. 


As always, it is fun when you get to do meaningful activities with your loved ones. Ryan enjoyed himself tremendously especially when he gets to sit in the vehicle with Shah after walking for a while. They went on a jalan jalan cari makan trip while we, continued to walk in the scorching hot sun and cooling rain. We stopped for breaks along the way. Drank and ate to keep our energies up. I also had my first taste of Rambutan Jam. People were curious. Some asked what are we up to, some shied away stealing glances when they think we are not looking. Midway through our journey, a car drove close by and halted infront of David. It stopped all of us on our tracks. Worried and curious all at the same time. A couple then came out with a huge grin on their faces, introduced themselves to David as Siti Kasim's friends and handed him 6 packets of coconut water. It was Godsend. Halleluyah! Alhamdulillah! Praise The Lord! It was such a sweet gesture, it made me feel so loved. I can now imagine how such little acts of kindness will mean so much to David, along this solo journey of his. None of this would have been experienced nor any of us can do what we did had it not been for David's pure determination and selflessness. It has inspired a nation. Me, personally. I am also glad to have been able to include my son for this walk. As we left David that evening at Kilometre 21 to head home to KL, while he continued walking forward and onwards, my heart and most sincere respect goes to him for doing what others could have done and yet did not want to or were not able to..Godspeed David.


Thank you for making our world a much better place to live in :)

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Paint your gift of love this Christmas with Poesy Liang




It's the season to be jolly!

I can't say enough how much Christmas reminds me of love, friendship & family. December also reminds me of birthdays ( my mom & brother's ) & happy holidays..I used to joke with family and friends alike that it is always the month that I will end up spending the most, buying gifts & splurging on holidays for my loved ones.

This year, my girlfriend Poesy gave me a wonderful gift of love this Christmas. A private lesson & a little sneak peak into her world of arts. It was a joy seeing her in action and at the same time sitting next to her in the gallery, creating my very own interpretation of art. She has just started a new exhibition & came up with this brilliant idea recently on providing a one off mentorship program for anyone who is interested to learn something new as well as an opportunity to come up with a meaningful & unique gift from the heart. Here in lies another creative way to say thank you, I love you and that I think of you often. Spend a few hours with Poesy & let your imagination flow. Trust me, you won't regret this investment. In fact, you'll have a jolly good time!




You may contact her at the number below to book your own appointment for either a view of her many beautiful works of art or for the one off mentorship program. Poesy is aware that not everyone is able to afford her paintings hence that is why she has decided on this lovely idea of guiding us step by step, to create our very own little miracles. If you can spare 3 hours or so of your time for this, I assure you that you'll leave with not only the end product but also a higher dose of self confidence & awareness not to mention, a healthy appetite of wanting to be more inspired from within. If I may say so myself, it can really be addictive.



So please, do contact Poesy Liang at the number above or leave her a message if you'd like to see her in action as well as check out her creations. Plenty of stuff to admire. She'll give you a personal tour and explain the story behind each of her paintings. On the other hand, the one off mentorship program costs only RM 500. It comes with a set of utensils that you will be able to bring home with you for future creations.

I went off to visit her one evening with a vision of love in mind. I was in the mood to create something adorable for Christmas & so we agreed on the Gingerbread couple. It was a spur of the moment decision, one that I am always known for. A little bit anxious at the beginning but I got into the groove once my heart & mind took me away.




So, I first started with a sketch, then I chose my colour scheme & theme..Slowly but surely, it started to take shape. Along the way, like a dutiful student, I will walk up to my teacher & ask for pointers.



There are times when I'd freak out & she'd smile. My mistakes on the canvas were no big deal to her. In a second, she taught me how to rectify it. It was a combination of nerve's wrecking & moments of being enlightened! In short, amazingly fun!




While I was busy concentrating away, she continued with her work. Multi tasking in between whenever I needed a helping hand. She kept on reminding me to drink & have a bite at her chocolate cake but I was so engrossed at what I was doing that I didn't even feel hungry or thirsty. Now I understand how artists feel when they are in the zone. It is like getting your hands on an interesting book that you can't afford to put down, not until you have read all the way till the end. She is indeed blessed with many delightful talents!



That few hours together, working on our own piece, made me feel truly connected with her. It was very kind of her to have included me in her world. I really got to enjoy myself much. Time went by so fast that I was a little bit sad when we had to call it a night.

The painting below is my favourite of her Cupcake Cat Series. You might have a different favourite. Do come visit & see for yourselves.



Poesy's strength lies in her steady strokes & lines. You can see it especially on the Rooftop Cat Series. It took her years to be good at what she does. How lovely it is to have the know how & capabilities of creating beauty out of nothing at all.



I used a Sharpie instead of a brush for the outlines as I was afraid of messing it further. Even then it took some effort to have a steady hand. No wonder art does not come cheap! It really is a labor of love.



The RM 500 art mentorship comes with these useful items. She'll provide you with a 1 feet square canvas board, 24 colours, 15 brushes & a palette. Below is the colour wheel included for your future reference too.




I am glad I jumped at the idea of wanting to do this. My fingers are itching to paint something new now. It is amazing how theraupeutic I felt brushing the strokes onto the canvas. Best of all, it is the company and the people that I am surrounded by that makes me feel like I am on top of the world & that I am capable of far more than I give myself credit for.

Thank you Poesy for caring & sharing your passion with me. May you continue to shower us with your blessings ♥


Merry Christmas Everyone & A Happy New Year! It has indeed been a wonderful December for me so far. Looking forward to many more pleasant days ahead.


Oh! By the way, that's Harry Putter, her pet cat ( I adore that little fellow ) with Kelly Siew, one of Poesy's close friend. Kelly chose to paint her passion for music as a Christmas gift to herself this year. How apt! Love the colours..


Poesy's a natural born teacher. She has the skill, dedication and plenty of heart in ensuring that others are left enriched by her presence. Before I sign off, here's a lovely picture of Ryan sketching a giraffe while she gently encourages him on. I am a happy mummy. Praise the Lord for our very own Living Angels :)

Saturday, August 2, 2014

When you throw dirt, you lose ground.


It's been a long time since I have had the urge to write. My experience with MH 370 as a Caregiver has made me stop, look around and think, about what matters most in life. It has also made me so sad  for I did not know how to make things better. I could not understand how some was unwilling to bounce back or accept God's will, neither could I free myself from the self expectations that I had single-handedly taken on, to heal the wounded.

So heartbroken was I to the extend that at one stage, I lost my love for writing. During the worst of times, I held myself together for I knew that if I were to ever break down, I am as good as useless to the ones that depended on me for assistance. Some were mean but I knew I can be better. It is a natural survival reflects to either lash out or withdraw into one's own cave. I am good at being detached and this incident and the pain that came with it, was however, too strong for me to ignore. Too many lives lost, too little explanation to be of comfort or even to appease the fallen. The more I cared for the living, the harder it became to not feel powerless.

The only thing that kept me going was my purpose in life and that is to spread love, joy and laughter wherever I go. No amount of training or setbacks from my own experiences of life's failures, can actually prepare me enough, to accept or understand how someone else will deal with their own tragedies. It is only when I let go and trust God that He knows exactly what He's doing that I am able to feel consoled. I cannot speak for others but I have never been shy to share what I have observed in life.

Everyone experiences pain and heartaches. Some have to deal with it publicly, others don't. Either way, it is there for you to face it, whether you like it or not. You can't just push it under the rug. It will start to stink.You got to do the dirty work. Sweat a little bit or a lot depending on whether it is dust, grime, slime, soot or smut. Faeces, dung, manure or ordure. Name it whatever you want. Nobody is spared. No special treatment given. No fast track through it. Nothing money can buy. Plain old gut wrenching, knife piercing stab, that gives you non stop migraines, instantly takes away your appetite, happily robs you of your sleep, kills your joy for living as well as the living and questions your faith in all things good. The dis ease runs through your veins and screams tears of sadness throughout your entire soul. Depression is indeed a selfish bastard. A soul sucking friend that I'd rather choose to stay away from.

When MH17 hit us a couple of weeks ago, no words can truly describe how I felt. Of course as a Caregiver once again, I am back right smack in the heat of the moment. Not easy I say. Surprisingly, this time around I feel the need to write, to express and to explain how I feel about anything and everything. Too many lies, manipulations and one sided tales that has inspired me to share my true experiences all over again. My biggest worry of the moment is undeniably the fact that I might along the way, rub someone else's shoulders the wrong way and that, will be painfully disappointing for me. As it is, we have all yet to heal. Therefore, I shall thread with caution.

I did want to write the story of our Caregivers but I have come to realise that in the course of telling my stories, there will always be two sides to it. The big hearted MH staff across the board and the grieving next of kin's around the world. No matter how if I am to angle the stories, it will never be able to bring back any of the lost loved ones. I can't bring myself to feel like a hero when doing what I did is after all a natural instinct based on love and compassion, one that I can only wish others might extend towards my own loved ones someday. I am sure, a majority of us who are helping feels the exact same way. It is amazing to see how different people deal with pain or how they treat others when in pain and I am truly humbled by the lessons learnt.

I would also like to take this opportunity to let my fellow Caregivers and MH staff working everywhere at present know, whether you are from WELKINS or other organizations that I have failed to mention here, within the company or out of it, of how much I am extremely aware of all the good that you have done and thank you for being there when you are needed most. A wonderful shout out also to all the lovely Tzu Chi members that I have had the opportunity to work with, the hardworking staff of all the hotels that had welcomed us with open arms, during my stint with MH370 and MH17. May God repay you what no human can and may we continue to pray, for the lost souls on board as well as for the ones left behind, for life will never be the same again for them or any of us. Take heart and do know that there are many living angels walking by your side currently and that you too, are my very own special angels.

I have since started my flying duties and every day I am once again reminded of how strong the human spirit is and how gracious the human heart can be. For each smile that I have received and each word of comfort spoken or support given by all of you out there and inflight towards us and for us, it has given a greater meaning to my existence. Now more than ever, I am happy to have been of service.

When it is my turn to leave this world, I'd like my family to always remember what I have stood for all these years. Never ever argue over money or hurt anyone else, in the process of wanting to fight for my rights. I have never complained, so please don't start, on my behalf. Look at the bigger picture, trust in what the Universe has in store for you and know that we are all ONE. Walk away from the pain. Stop hating. Love and love alike. Oh ya! Please don't forget to plant a tree or two for me :)

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

I am MH, MH is me. My tribute to MH 0370 and the ones who love them.

" It has been nearly two weeks since the shocking news. I remember being in class, getting ready for my Power Point presentation when all of a sudden, I had a code RED. This particular code is only meant for an airline disaster. I was trained especially to handle such a scenario and that is why I got the call. My phone messages were coming in non stop and I knew that this was the real deal. There were also a few missed calls from friends as well.

What came next was unimaginable. Yes, I have been trained to be prepared for such a day, but I did not expect to ever experience it in my lifetime. The first message I received was, "EMERGENCY NOTIFICATION - CODE RED! Caregivers please report at FFRC Level 5 KLIA before 1230hrs today for deployment to Beijing on relief flight. " I froze in my tracks! From being worried about acing my presentation, I am now no longer even thinking about it. What? Whose? When? How? Why? I didn't know what to do. Do I ignore and carry on like as if nothing had happened or do I jump straight into action?

I obviously chose the latter and here I am today, sitting at a corner, by the sofa, trying to make sense out of nothing at all. It's been 10 whole days since I have had any sleep. I have only spent a total of God knows how little time with my family. Even when I was at home, my mind was on the search and the well being of the next of kins. I don't even know why I am doing what I am doing anymore. I have four assignments due and it is actually only my first semester. I was so excited at the start of Uni for I really wanted to score well. Everything has changed since. Nothing is more important than what these family members are currently going through and nothing is far worse than not knowing the fate of their loved ones. "

I wrote the above for an entry in my blog last month but after a while, I was lost for words. Where do I begin? How do I end it? The whole experience is just too overwhelming. No words could express how I was really feeling back then, neither can I do much justice to it now. It will be a long time before I can get any closure if there is any at all.

I love flying. By now, I am sure many knows that about me. I am a people person and I love to travel much. I look forward to eating local delicacies, experiencing new cultures and being one with the natives. My crew members are my family away from home. They keep me grounded. They remind me of my roots. Where ever I go or where ever I am, I have a place to come home to. A family that will always welcome me. Until and unless you have been a crew, you'll never be able to understand what it is like to belong in a dynamic group such as ours. We meet as strangers, we travel as families and we leave after each flight as friends. Do you know how wonderful it is to be able to eat Malaysian food prepared together in a country as far away as Argentina, that has never heard of dishes such as " Nasi Bario, Ikan terubuk masin, Ulam & Sambal Belacan " ? After nearly two weeks away from home, on a 21 days trip, that is heaven on earth!

When you are sick, there is always someone to keep an eye on you. When you need a shoulder to cry on, there are plenty around to offer their assistance. When I lost my first baby and when I had my first TPE/LAX/NRT trip after that, I received plenty of love and support from my fellow colleagues. When I was on my DXB/BEY trip and just had gone through my divorce years later, it was the same MH family who dragged me out each day to shop along Naif Road, eventhough I was a walking and talking zombie and fed me briyanis and mango juices each day and night, to keep me alive and to distract me from doing something stupid. On certain long haul trips, we ate together, shop and bargain together, travel together, experience new stuff together and even bunked in together. Hence, the word "Jom kita pergi ( ) together-gether" became one of our favourite phrases of all times. Airplanes are where we spend most of our days and nights on and walking in and out of airports, travelling in suitcases have been our way of life for donkey years, so much so, that whomever leaves the Airlines, will eventually miss the lifestyle someday.

Birthdays are celebrated mostly with each other and same goes with festivals and personal joys such as when your child excels in school, when knowing that one is pregnant or has now become a father. We are also the first person to console each other if we were to receive bad news while we are far away from home such as when a death in the family or loved ones occur.

Today, my son turned 7 and as I think about the rest of you who have lost your loved ones on board, I can't help but feel sad and frustrated. You will never know how hard it is for me to accept all this gracefully or with an opened mind or a detached heart. I too have survivor's guilt for it could have been me that was operating the flight that night. I have "family members" who are lost too now. I have flown with each and everyone of them over the years. I just can't remember to where. I have shared transport home with some of them. I even shared my joy of climbing mountains, diving and furthering my studies on the way home with Andrew Nari a few days before the incident. 

We all grew up together, through blood, sweat and tears in this company. The operating crew are all mostly mommies and daddies now. Breadwinners of their families. No one really enjoys leaving their loved ones behind. After a while, the only reason we do what we do, is because it puts food on the table, clothes on our backs and a roof under all our heads. Our biggest asset for our children is the gift of travel. A fast track to the world at large. The downside is, we are mostly not there when it really matters.

Rest assured, that no matter how far we are away from you, how much we miss you or how lonely it can get being away from you, YOU have always been the reason that we wake up each day, at crazy odd hours, in different time zones and various hotels around the world, to put on our make up and don our uniforms and it is also because of our love for YOU, that has given us the strength to live each day to the best of our abilities, the same reason that our eyes can twinkle when we greet others, that our smiles.. flows naturally from our warm hearts, for if it is not for you.. none of this would have been possible. On behalf of my fellow crew members and especially the ones of MH 370, thank you for loving us the way you do.

 I might not have known any of the passengers that boarded the ill fated flight that night, but I now know your loved ones and how much love they have for you. From the outside looking in, there is nothing much left to say or prove. YOU are indeed a beautiful soul.

As the days go by and as the world continues to pray, hope and move forward, I will forever remember the love and the pain that have been shared throughout these trying times. My only consolation is, the lessons that I have learnt thus far. If your Next Of Kins that I have had the honour of getting to know, love and provide assistance for, can put their faith in God and each other, so shall I.




p/s - I plan to share stories about the amazing MH Caregivers someday :)

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

A Tale As Old As Time

It has been quite some time now since I have last blogged. Going back to school has brought me out of my comfort zone and made me aware of my insecurities all over again. I feel like the lost kid in high school at the moment. The difference is, I am way older and my responsibilities are far greater than just wanting to score results. I am flying from one end of the world to another, earning a living, whilst in between, trying to be a mother to my son and at the same time, squeezing as much juice as I can get, out my brain cells! My mind's all over the place, my heart isn't where it should be and I haven't been able to reflect.

It was when I was waiting for my transport home last night, that a workmate of mine, stopped by to greet me and mentioned that she enjoys reading my blogs and was wondering whether I'll be writing the next one soon. When I asked her why does she like reading my blogs, her reply was that, I am every woman. I write from my heart and she can relate to that. It is also more comforting for she knows me, the woman behind the thoughts.

Today I'd like to talk about how hard it is being me. The daughter, the mother, the employee, the leader, the friend, the lover..The woman.

I am all that and more. What if I don't have to be afraid. Afraid of what others might think of me. Afraid of not being able to live up to your expectations. Afraid of being a failure. Afraid of hurting another. Afraid of being selfish. Afraid of wanting what is not mine. Afraid of losing myself in the process of being afraid of AFRAID.

I have been told on numerous occasions by frustrated suitors and friends alike, on how some stupid principles of mine, have gotten me to where I am today. ( I don't date married men or younger guys ). Married men flaunt their wealth at me. Younger men tempt me with everything youthful and fun. I turned each offer and every individual down. Instead I'd love freely for love and love alone..and that is something not many understands about me. That however, does not help pay my rent nor does it feed my child. Nevertheless, if you win my heart, whatever the circumstances, I'd love you with all I have got!

I remember how some of my own family members used to joke telling me when I was way younger and in demand that I should open my handbag before I decide to open my legs for others. Those days, I'd smile and dismiss it. Nowadays, I can understand the rationality behind it. Some colleagues at work even had the balls to tell me straight to my face to stop dreaming big. After all, I am considered used goods with excess baggage. It is about time I land my feet on the ground. Some sweet young girls even told me innocently, to not be competition. I can't help but feel for them.

Nothing is ever what it seems neither are people who they portray themselves to be. Just like you, I am searching for my one true love. Just like you, it is ever elusive. Just like you, I continue to bleed and just like you, I am trying to be true to who I am. In the process, there are days that I feel like a hypocrite.

Who am I anyway? I am Jasmin. A dynamic being that evolves with time and yet worries about whether I am worthy of me. What I believed yesterday might not be who I am today and that terrifies me. It makes me feel weak when I should be strong. As I grow older and see the world for what it really is, I am starting to lose my "innocence" day by day. Deep down, I know that I am fighting a losing battle.

The video below is a testament to one of the sweetest miracle I have ever experienced in my lifetime. No strings attached. No expectations demanded. Only love and generosity throughout. Two good friends, a guy named Ravi Karupiah whom together with his wife Irene Tham, sponsored my trip, last October to Annapurna Base Camp and Casey Ngo, a fellow mountain climber friend of ours, who loaned me all her equipment and climbing apparels, so that I'll be kept warm and prepared for any eventualities. Dreams do and can come true, thanks to my fellow brothers and sisters. All is not lost after all. Everything is taken away from you for a reason and all will be handed back to you eventually, when the time is right in whichever manner and when you need it most. No matter what you do, LIVE your life and love YOU :)



Monday, February 10, 2014

Are you " High Performance " or " High Potential " ?


                                                                  Trust the process ♥

I am prompt to write this, because of an incident that has just happened yesterday with regards to a dear subordinate of mine, whose contract has not been renewed due to medical reasons. It reminded me of my own frustrations once too many a time over the years, when it comes to not being recognized for the work that I am doing.

Where did I go wrong? I wonder. It took me years to finally learn how to accept personal responsibility and to understand the rhythm of my own company and how things work. It is a long process that starts with being accountable for your own actions or inactions and ends with a question. How much am I willing to lose to gain?

I would like to believe and deep down I know that I am a dedicated worker who treasures and appreciates her job much. However, I wasn't one who wanted more than I already have and that is when things went downhill. I became dispensable and was only part of a statistic. ( Lesson #1 )

My first blow was when I received my very own termination of contract letter on the 5th year. I was shocked beyond words to know that I am not needed. More than shocked, I was upset and equally angry. After all the hard work, tons of complimentary letters, near perfect performance reviews, the undying loyalty, the blood, sweat and tears, they wanted me out. All because of a 2 weeks long medical leave, due to an injury that I sustained in Japan a few months before contract was due to end. ( I was shopping in Narita, unaware and in my own dream world, when two little boys came scuttling down the escalator and sent me straight down to the depths of despair ). It didn't even matter that for the first 4 1/2 years, I had not taken a single sick leave. I had no one to blame but myself for not seeing it coming.

I decided to appeal, did what was necessary, put my ego aside and instead of lashing out, I sucked it all in and let the anger go. After all, it is a big organization with thousands of workers. Plenty of hiccups and losing oneself in translation. No one up there knows who I am or what I am good at. ( Lesson # 2 ) ~ It was my own fault to have not shown the right people my worth or how far that I am willing to grow with them.

Needless to say, after saying what I had to say when I was given the chance to say it, in front of the right people, my contract was ultimately renewed and I received my spot as a permanent crew. Instead of harbouring ill feelings or taking things lightly, I cherished my job more to the extend that it has now become a way of life. The rule of thumb is, you cannot expect others to invest in you, if you do not, first invest in yourself.

My ( Lesson #3 ) came at the worst timing. When I experienced a failed pregnancy, a week after the loss, I was required to start back online. After unsuccessfully trying to worm my way through it, ( short of manpower and the fact that if a pregnancy is less than 7 months, I wasn't entitle to receive the post delivery leave that would have been ideal for my recovery ), I operated a long trip to LAX and got myself into a bout of depression and a jelly of a womb. I didn't know my rights neither was I aware of my alternatives. It would have helped a great deal had I known people from other departments who might have been able to offer me a word of advise or expertise in handling situations that I am not good at or did not expect.

When I became a Supervisor 9 years ago, my biggest and most challenging task up to date, is to motivate others to give their best during the worst of times. Taking up the post and being in lower management currently, gave me the opportunity to play a few roles that I enjoy performing. As a figurehead on board, a leader, a spokesperson, a liaison officer, a negotiator and an initiator. Technical, conceptual and interpersonal skills came into the picture. It opened up a whole new world for me, to test my potential. I brought it onto myself that no matter what happens to or with the company, I shall do what's necessary to utilize the resources that I have while at the same time, ensuring that the objectives of the company is met without having to sacrifice any joy out of it. You got to love what you do and when you do something out of love, you'll do it whole heartedly.

The only way I can stay positive and current is to continue upgrading myself. Have a mentor or two. To increase your marketability, you got to specialise in something or be so ordinary that you can do what others would never dream of doing. At the same time, keep family members and friends close to you. Spend time with chickens, cluck like them. Fly with the eagles and you will soar like one! Do not expect others to give you a sense of fulfilment neither are you entitled to anything. You reap what you sow. It is as simple as that. There will always be more lessons to learn. The difference is, how you react to it.

The fear of losing my job is lesser now, for I know that I am able to adapt and learn new things if there is a need for it. It is my good health that I am more concerned in maintaining. Expanding one's network out of your own working environment is a great way of getting support, exchanging ideas and gaining knowledge. You got to find your passion and purpose. The only way to do that, is to know who you are and what you want. To be at the top takes great effort and lots of sacrifices. If you are not willing to do that, stay where you are. Where I am at, it is the survival of the fittest.