Thursday, November 28, 2013

Time to say goodbye to Facebook :)

I am done with Facebook. Why? Coz I have lost myself. I find it easier telling the world what I am doing, where I am going, who I am with or what I am thinking than living in the here and now, next to people who really matter. At first, I found it convenient. By blasting it online, I didn't have to speak or explain one to one. I am able to reach the masses and help them, so to speak. I felt the love and adoration. I fed on it. It inspired me to continue giving and baring my soul..

There was a time when I was mugged and I posted the news as well as the pictures online. The only person I wanted to hear from was also the only one who didn't bother to call me immediately after, or ask how I am doing once I got back home. Why? Thanks to all the updates I posted and replies to the comments by family and friends, everyone knew that I wasn't going to die tomorrow. Neither does anyone have to come all the way to visit me either, to see how badly my knees looked like, for the pictures were there at their convenience. That is how weird Facebook can affect my chances at being in meaningful relationships. Do you understand what I mean now?

Life before FB was different. Growing up, I had long meaningful chats with my family instead of them reading my updates. I didn't have to share pictures of my adventures alone online, as the ones I love were there to experience it with me. When I needed help, I go straight to the source and I got it. Friends meet, come and see me face to face to find out how I am doing. They sacrificed their time and money to be with me. When I wanted love, I gave my all to one and he ended up making me his wife.

As shallow as it may sound, I started FB as a silent cry for help. I was lonely and I wanted love from anyone and everyone. There were plenty of desirable men out there but not many available ones. So I made Facebook my bestfriend and my lover. I bared my rawness and vulnerabilities to him and in return, he shared the wonders of the universe with me. It became an addiction. A dangerous one. I am a fierce, passionate lover and it was detrimental to my well being for I am naive and I trust easily, therefore I love to share the truth. We were however not alone. The whole world was watching us, judging us and it stopped being genuine anymore. People started using each other online. What's in it for me? was the motto of the day. It became a chore to bare one's thoughts. I became sensitive when someone were to unfriend me without knowing the reason behind it and I felt bad having to unfriend some, whom I knew were stalking me or were of a different wavelength. I started struggling with my conscience. I wanted my privacy back. That made me think.

I used to enjoy birthdays especially celebrating it for others. I am one of those who will always remember your birth dates and how special you are. FB made it impersonal. Convenient yes but meaningful, no. Everyday I'll get a reminder on my is so and so's birthday. It's time to wish them. You do it and that's it. Social responsibility done! and to the ones who receives it...Oooh..How wonderful! I am blessed. I had more than a 1000 wishes today. I am doing ok then. I am they think. You think? Maybe that is why, I have never bothered to publish my birthdate for all to see neither am I one that wishes people online for the sake of wishing.

How many of you now, that have good friends who are like family, who would go all the way out to throw you a surprise birthday party or holiday? Not the types where they party on the expense of your money, but the ones who'd spend theirs instead, to show you how much you really mean to them? I have and these are far and few in between. Friends that I have met long before I started FB and the same ones who are not even bothered to be connected through such social sites. Unfortunately, since then, I have lost a number of these good friends in the pursuit of technology.

At first, I was worried about leaving it all behind. What will happen to all my hard work? The bonds that I have created, the reputation that I have made, the information shared that will be lost to me forever? Really? Who am I trying to kid? I am still where I was 3 years ago when I first started Facebook. Alone and empty. It was all an illusion and it is about time I wake up :)


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