While I was trekking in Nepal I met many interesting souls. Some prefer to remain lost and anonymous to the outside world. They shunned technology, prefers to work on themselves instead of trying to save the population and find living in the real world much more productive and mindful than being in the virtual one. I couldn't help but admire them. They made technology their slave, never the master.
How many of us can say that about ourselves? Unfortunately, most of us are slaves to it. We rush to answer a call when it rings and we blame everyone else except ourselves for the little mishaps that might occur because of it. We anticipate a call even when there is none coming. We bring the phone with us everywhere we go, even to the loo! Come to think of it, most of us seems to spend more time connecting to our PDA than our spouses. There were moments, when I was more connected to a friend via the phone than a family member who's sitting right across of me on the dinner table. How rude and at the same time inconsiderate and ridiculous is that? A mobile media is far more important than what truth lies in front of us and for a long time, I was blinded by it.
The constant need to feel connected via technology is really ironic for when we do that, we are inadvertently disconnecting from what really matters, ourselves and the world around us. We disengage from the people who truly loves us and from the ones that craves our attention. Instead, we reach out and immerse ourselves behind a virtual screen trying to fulfill a gap or a hole that we feel needs to be filled. Does it ever get filled? THAT is the question. Or most importantly, WHAT matters to you? For me, I started noticing an unhealthy pattern and when I couldn't ignore it anymore, I had to do something about it.
From a young age, I was exposed to machines and technology. My uncle is a tech guy and we grew up having computers all over the house, long before people knew how or what to do with it. My brother shared his passion and both can discuss for hours till the wee hours of the morning on creating this software or fixing that hardware. I on the other hand, showed no interest whatsoever. I preferred knitting and so the story goes....
I owned my first mobile phone at the age of 23. A gift from my husband to be. Before that, I kept in touch with my family and friends via land lines. I remember bringing plenty of coins around in case there is a need for me to call home from overseas. I used to brave the cold and the snow just so that I could hear a familiar voice from a deserted phone booth. It was all worth it, for it kept my heart warm.
Technology does have its advantages. Now I get to see their faces, hear their voices in the comfort of my bedroom and plenty more. So much so, that I don't have to go out and about to get connected anymore. Instead of mingling with my friends during a night stop, getting to know someone new or exploring some place fun, everything I want or need, I have been made aware, that I can get it from my WIFI. Being a social hermit has never been this good. I hide when I feel like it, or reach out when I want to, all from behind a white piece of screen.
I was eating, breathing and living, eternally wired and constantly connected to the virtual world. Before I can chew and digest the first information that I have received, I was craving for the next. Nothing is ever enough. Not only did I lose sleep, added unwarranted stress, over promised, under delivered, but along the way, I felt far worse, for my internal world was falling apart while my external world was flourishing. Fake was never my middle name and because of that, I had to disengage.
Without realizing it, I started missing the bigger picture. By always being on the go, trying to be in the know about everything and having the weight of the world on me, my energy, the place where my power source flows from, was beginning to deplete. I've been logged on for far too long without having the common sense of getting myself charged back to life! I lost precious time with the ones that truly loves me. I also missed the sounds and sights along my journey, always wanting to share everything, busy snapping pictures, thinking about what to write before an adventure's even over. I knew it was unhealthy but I wasn't ready to stop. You'll know when enough is enough. When the time came, I did.
I have been told, that when you want to get somewhere quickly, learn to stop. The more you rush, the more you are made to wait. I might be slow to reply calls or check my emails nowadays...but I notice things better now. Earlier, when I was having dinner, instead of just shoving food into my mouth whilst reading a book, I sat quietly concentrating on each morsel of food that entered my mouth and it made me love my mom more, for thanks to her my hunger is fed. Imagine how much love she'd put into preparing these meals for me. I was also grateful that I am still able to provide my family with the basics..and food being one of them. How lovely is that? Alhamdulillah :)
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